The Chud Problem Part one

This post isn't really ready for posting but since I might be off for a while , till I pay the bill again. So I thought I'll just make it part one and throw in all the cool pictures and video in part 2.

Our C.H.U.D. problem , By the Mad Cowboy.




I heard of an interesting news story , and I could only think of one thing damn chud. It seems the local paper has recently had a problem with one of the cities many caves and tunnels. Now I don’t have the fact’s which would only get in the way of a good story anyway, but The post dispatch had to have some tunnels closed off in their building, because of homeless infestation.
As all locals know St. Louis is built on top of caves and underground rivers. These caves are what brought the breweries, with the cool places to store their brew. It also brought the chuds. In fact some of the first documented C.H.U.D. sighting’s came in our town. In fact there are photo’s of these predecessor’s to our modern or recent chud’s. They appear to dress and function as normal citizen’s of the day.
Around the turn of the last century the chud population grew to uncontrollable levels, and during the twenties an eradication program was implemented to eliminate the chud of the time. Historically Hoover was the first President to have actual dealings with Chuds. Hoover came up with a removal plan , first he needed a diversion, to keep the public as unaware as possible. So through brilliant manipulation of the stock markets and banking institutions to create the appearance of a depression. In fact he was so good at his deception that most in America at the time , and even to this day believe there actually was a Great Depression. His plan was under the cover of a depression he would gather the chud scattered across the country into camps, called Hoovervills.
Once they were concentrated in to these shanty towns they could be controlled and eliminated. In fact their wouldn’t be a chud problem except that the main stream media , and the elitist Roosevelt used propaganda to upseat the wise but unlucky Hoover. Because Hoover could not tell the people what was really going on because of the secrecy of the project, he lost the election, coup, to Roosevelt and was unable to complete the eradication of the chud.
He did however form a secret order , a group to both fight the chud and save the nation from liberal bias that would surely destroy the founding fathers god given plan for America. He formed this secret order, mostly from the brightest and best within his own party. Although membership was kept secret at the time it was rumored that some of the best he found included Luminaries such as the Harriman’s and The great Presscot Bush. In fact the reason that the pair seemed to support and finance Adolf Hitler was that he was also interested in removing chud’s. Hoover along with his loyal order wanted world support to eradicate the chud, which were even then starting to spread in Europe.
Using the cover story that they were sympathetic to nazism , Harriman and P. Bush set up a bank to finance the training of a new secret order in Europe to fight chud. They called their new organization the New World’s Order of Chud Fighters International. The plan was simple one group would cleanse the European then African continent’s , while the other did the same on the America’s starting with North and eventually cover the southern Continent as well.
Such a massive undertaking would require cunning and great subterfuge. Adding to the problem during the late Thirties was Roosevelt and his fringe party of so called new dealers, not only did he not continue the chud policies of the former administration, he seemed to be even sympathetic to the plight of the chud populus.
It is now a known fact that chud at least of the time needed alcohol mostly beer to survive and mate, which is of course another reason for the St. Louis chud problems. Scientist’s at the turn of the century studying the chud found that not only was beer important to the chud’s physical existence, it also was influential in breeding. They determined that removing alcohol from America would greatly reduce the chud population and assist in the gathering processes to come. That was when Prohibition was introduced in America. Scholar’s now mostly agree that had the policies of prohibition and Hoovervilles been allowed to continue the Chud problem would of been totally solved by the mid to late forties.
It is said that the chud lobbyist partially financed by the beer industry, were able to buy Roosevelt’s support, and the fact’s seem to bear them out. First he repealed the prohibition of alcohol a main component of chud breeding, now they could purchase their beer anywhere. Plus because it had been his campaign focus he became obsessed with destroying the real economy by pretending that Hoover’s faked depression was real.
Which through his actions became an actual economic downturn, reducing the funding and support for chud removal. Due to recently released personal notes from the Roosevelt’s administration it is now known that the president’s reluctance to eliminate the chud’s was that his family had been infiltrated by chud’s. Elanor was supposedly at least half chud. Historians now believe that Roosevelt even hosted chud parties early in his first term. Some have even stated that the earliest difficulties between America and Japan was over a statement by Mrs. Roosevelt to the Japanese ambassador about him “ Looking good enough to Eat.” When the Ambassador turned up missing the infuriated nation of Japan began planning a massive revenge plan.
These were the condition’s with which the The New world’s order of Chud Fighters had to deal with when they devised their new plan for chud eradication code named The Marshall plan.
By now many world leaders were either members of the order or at least aware of the chud problem growing around the world. In a secret meeting it was decided that a world wide mobilization of troops covering most of the planet would be needed. This plan had two important difficulties, to act globally they needed the support of the U.S,A, then controlled almost dictatorly by Roosevelt and his Pro-chud backers. There was also the problem of getting the people to accept the extreme methods that would be have to be implemented if the chud were to be controlled or hopefully eliminated.
It was at the suggestion of Winston Churchill, then a fast rising member of the New World’s order of Chud Fighters, that the job could be undertaken if it was disguised as a massive war. He suggested that through the use of border disputes troops could be called into chud infested areas under the pretext of protecting their borders. Using this Border’s technique the individual nations could begin the first phase of the plan , acquiring the necessary armaments and personnel needed.
Ironically it was then Chancellor Adolf Hitler who suggested that for the plan to work , and get the world behind it , especially America, they would need to have one of them play this super evil crazy dictator type who is bent on world domination. Maybe it was truly fate, that he had never heard of the not me Rule so when the entire chorus of member’s shouted “Not Me” except him, he was elected for the job. True Story, it was then decided to use a multi-pronged strategy to get past the chud lover’s in America and get it involved in the chud eradication.
First American business firms loyal to the cause would help to fund and supply raw materials to all the countries in Europe spreading the money around to the countries each to defend themselves from the other. This policy proved to be profitable enough that it continued until after America had “entered” the war against the chud.
Second was to create an enemy that the American people could identify with enough to not only mobilize our armed forces , they also needed the Attention of the people while they removed the chud from this continent. This was hitler’s job but they needed more. It was decided to use Japan’s growing anger over Their “ Missing “ ambassador. To make matter’s worse Apparently the Chud had aquired a taste for Japanese, using their political influence to even round up the available Japanese people in the U.S. into holding cells for the dining tables of the rich intellectuals and liberal elitist’s. It was relayed To the Emperor himself from Hitler of a secret camp located on an island in the Pacific. In the historic meeting between The Emperor Hiro Hito And the now Fuhrer Adolf Hitler, Hitler was said to have even taunted Hito with how if it was his people being eaten he’d do some serious butt whooping. He’d at least go get the people off that island. Hito was impressed with Hitler’s logic, that and with three bottles of Saki and five pitchers of beer , Hitler’s support.
It was decided that Japan would use ninja’s to Free their captive citizens. Partly for cover while the ninja completed their mission, and as retaliation and a warning to the American Chud to quit eating them, they decided to “ bomb Hell” out of the city that was heavily involved in the growing trade of the illegal Asian cannibal rings growing across America. The rest as they say is history.
Using the pretext of a World war the New World Order of Chud Fighters around the world were able to relocate and eliminate most of the chud not only from America, and Europe, but large portions of Asia and Africa as well.
It was after Hitler’s death that the final phase of the “Marshall Plan” was implemented. It was decided in a council of the NWOCF that they needed the countries of the world to stay armed and ready in case the menace of the chud’s return. The plan required dividing the world up into sections that the certain countries would guard to prevent against new outbreaks of chud.
Called the Truman Stalin paper’s after a disagreement over say wallpaper the meeting’s ended with Stalin Famously telling Truman You Stay on your side of the world , I’ll stay on mine.
An emergency meeting was called and by the councils pressure they were made to shake hand’s and apologize to each other.
It was then that a young member of the council, a one day famous chud fighter Richard Nixon pointed out how the coldness between the two members could aid in the war against chuds. Animosity that had leaked to the press could be used to there advantage. It was called “ operation cold war protection against outbreaks of chuds,” quickly shortened to the Cold War.
Churchill saw the wisdom in this and even suggested that they could use this time to develop more efficient city killing atomic weapons, In case a chud outbreak was to get out of control. He also liked the idea of pushing the bad guy good guy thing , only this time each side would tell their people they were the good guy it’s the other guy who was bad. “ Using new and better weapons we can surround the chud in an Iron Curtain where they can harm no one no more.”
As recognition for his idea and slogan Cold War Nixon was promised a job as president after Truman and Eisenhower got there turn’s. This partnership lasted through the fifties , with only a few outbreaks of chuds. These were handled by Truman and later President’s by planting atomic and then plutonic bombs deep underground and then detonating them . This was done mostly in the desert and mountain area’s where remaining groups of chud had been known to have escaped to. These were explained as “Tests” but of course now we know the real story. These Tests were also used to eliminate chud populations , now reduced to small tribal groups that had taken refuge on islands in the Pacific Ocean.
Other governments quickly joined in the hunt preparing the new chud busting or Hydrogen bombs. New techniques were quickly introduced to be able to quickly deliver the chud eradicating bombs, by land sea or air. As Krusefh once said “ if the chud learn to swim , I want to meet them in a nuclear powered submarine.” Besides for an almost catastrophic outbreak in Korea, in which the chuds had become so entrenched Truman was forced to use troops to dig them out the world was pretty much becoming chud free. By the end of Eisenhower’s second term it was thought that they were exterminated to extinction. In fact the NWO as they now called themselves decided that they could now relax and let the others take charge for awhile. With the chud gone they could devote themselves to helping government’s create a lasting peace , a world free of hunger and disease.
Over the protests of Nixon the council decided to hand over the presidency to a young pledge John F. Kennedy. Kennedy was relatively new to chud fighting , and was skeptical of the whole operation. He felt that the American people could handle the truth and intended to tell the American people in his next speech in Dallas. Luckily Vice-president Johnson Was able to get a copy of the speech to the council , where then pro-tem leader Nixon directed Fellow chud fighter George H, Bush to use his C.I.A. hit team to assassinate Kennedy before it was too late. It was decided that exposure would cause panic and would ruin all the plans for the future they had envisioned. Plus Nixon rightly argued that they couldn’t be sure that the chud wouldn’t return and they would again be needed. Bush once confided to a fellow chud hunter that he had really struggled with his decision to accept his assignment but in the end decided that if he was going to do it he was going to make it pay. Rumors of the time suggest that he was also influenced by his special friendship With the then Vice-president. Unsubstantiated rumors even comment on the same purposeful attitude they took when confronted with protecting the country from Chud.
Nixon was of course right about the chud returning, while most had perished in the desert bombing strategy some had escaped , except now they were mostly mutated, they had changed. The radiation was said to have been responsible. Due to the new appearance they were no longer able to hide themselves in normal society. The chuds hair grew uncontrollably long and a dust or dirt particles seemed to cling around them. The radiation also effected the dietary habit’s of the new chud. While they were still cannibals they became less reliant on alcohol , and more dependent on more natural substances. Flowers in their hair was said to reduce the pain the chud felt from radiation sickness. Because of radiation burns the chud preferred to wear as little clothing as possible. They also were drew like moths to a flame to loud repetitive noises.
After a John Hopskin report in the late sixties, that was done for the government, which you can read by simply using the FICA law, stated that they believed from interview’s and dissections that the chud have a pain in their brain that could be lessened by rythmic association. This was the reason they seemed to dance , the movement in correlation with the sound frequencies released endorphins into the chud brain, reducing the pain.
After Kennedy Nixon had patiently waited for his turn as president, during that time he had devoted the council to attempt to find less lethal or unobtrusive methods of dealing with chud outbreaks. As Nelson Rockefeller, said if we keep blowing stuff up it’s going to cost. As the new head of council and soon to be Vice-president, Rockefeller suggested that they develop sprays and gases that could be used in distributing antidotes and neutralizing agents. By the sixties they had developed smoke agents and water cannons that when utilized subdued the chud enough for the chud troops to contain and later eliminate the small outbreaks occurring now all over the country.
While these were tactics were proving to be effective, rockefeller was worried that their organization and the chud problem would be exposed to the public. It was suggested by a young member who had proven his courage and earned a spot in the council by the name of Bill Clinton that they could use their exterminating in Asia as a tie in. We can say that they are protesting something like a war?
Then President Johnson said that he could send troops to southern Asia where they were already fighting chud . The plan would be to escalate public involvement as needed to keep attention away from their chud operations.
This strategy was enacted as policy and was used effectively through the decade of the sixties into the early seventies. By then most of the chud had been eliminated and it was decided by Nixon as president and council head Rockefeller that it was safe enough to stop their operations . This meant they could also end the pre-text of a war.
Tired from the excursion of Acting as President while facing the task of eliminating chud Nixon decided to step down from public life , to spend more time with his family. He felt that he could now trust in the young member’s of the sect to watch over America well into the future. No more in his lifetime would tribes of cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers roam the streets of America.
Most scholars and radio personalities would agree that he was right, except for some publicity in the form of a movie that reached a semi-cult following in the eighties , and an outbreak in the nineties which George Herbert Bush easily handled using the tried and proven method of financle manipulation’s to force the chud above ground where they could be classified as Homeless so they could be removed from society.
It might be hard to believe , due mostly to media distortion , but it was actually George Bush Junior’s idea to use the cover story that their were millions of people living on the streets, once they were classified as homeless we could then simply remove them and nobody will ever wonder where they went. We could say they were rehabilitated Who will know.
His plan was simple they would plant the story that the economy was in a downturn which would naturally produce the destitute people, who would then act as cover for the new operation to fight the latest outbreak of chud ,which was not only in America. A new outbreak had spread into the middle east at an alarming rate. It was said to be so bad that fellow council member and President Saddam Hussein requested the help of his friend’s the Bushes to remove the chud from both his country and his neighbors in Kuwait.
It was reported that he pleaded in council at an emergency meeting that he needed the help of the whole world to defeat the chud literally eating his country alive. “He was quoted as saying consider this a war, of all wars, they ate my mother for cripes sake”. As you know this line was changed and used for propaganda to disguise their actions as an oil war.
History tells us that with world support and a generals tactic of bomb hell using Arial attacks, George Bush Senior quickly dispatched the chud in the middle east ,and returned his friend to power, before returning to deal with the American chud problem.
It was decided that they had to resolve the current chud outbreak so they could get back to the organizations new manifesto then called Project for North America to be Chud free in the next hundred years. As always the title was changed and shortened before releasing to the public through their media branch.
The plan was to build a series of shields that could be deployed in the event of future outbreaks. They decided that they could use these shields not only to protect the U.S. But they could be used in Europe as well, by placing them in the middle of Europe they could be used to protect Russia as well as the Western countries.
After returning his attention from the Gulf outbreak it has been debated that it was George Bush himself who suggested that he could provide the cover they would need to proceed with the operations. This was in 1990 when the outbreak started. They would use his son’s plan of using financle manipulation of the economy , and just blame it on him, whereby they could claim he was a bad president and by the election in two years they could have his replacement installed , then after the outbreak was over they would simply turn the economy back on. In his private memoir’s Then president Bush wrote that he really didn’t mind that much playing the role of a Bad Guy for mostly two reasons, it gave them the cover to stop the outbreak of 90, and as payment he got one of his sons promised the job of president, jumped to the head of the line after his replacement Bill Clinton.
He was also consoled by the fact that he still had two years to train his replacement on not only how to act as a president, but complete the final phases of the real operations, to wit chud removal and elimination. Not only would he complete his mission as a secret order of chud fighter’s called the N.W.O. C.F. and leave the future protected , he had assured his son’s place in history as well. Plus he wanted to spend time with his granddaughters as he watched them grow into ladies of taste and eventual positions of power.
And thus a great partnership was formed between Clinton and the Bushes to spend the next 18 years ridding America and the world of the C.H.U.D. menace.
It seems clear by now though that the chud will never totally go away as seen by the attack on the news paper . Think of it half their thing is underground dwellers , almost every major city is built over systems of tunnels. I say wake up America they’re back. It’s time to expose the danger to the public, as they used to say in the old days “men lock up your pipes, close off your drains there’s CHUD out there tonight”.
I know you may be still be a little skeptical, you might even be thinking “well B. Where is your proof” you might also wonder where I got all this secret information about the real history.? And I have that answer as well except that I cant tell you because I’m a journalist and have/get to protect my sources right? I can tell you this we live in an age where you can ask your computer any question you want , and it will give you any answer you like.
I would really say this is only part one of my article. Over the next weekend -ish I will be attempting to film actual evidence of chuds and some of the places they could inhabit. I may even attempt to interview a chud. Except for two reasons , one is the cannibal is like their first name , and two I’m new at journalizing and I’m not quite sure reporters are still allowed to investigate.
It makes me wonder what story the Saint Louis Post Dispatch told in their newspaper, it doesn’t matter now we know the truth.
I think part 2 will be a video either a practice or the First Mad Cowboys variety hour show. So Stay tuned Peace and Love B.