Day of the Pictures.

   I'm just going to rant a little about a few of the Pictures I have taken lately. first off I got an unusually killer deal on a new camera, welcome to the digital age .  So far this camera has proved amazing, even though I am learning it's basics I still have along way to go before figuring it out. Meanwhile I'm just going to try posting some of my practice , on the sight as a peek into the world and mind as I navigate my way through a world gone madder.

  Yes I bought a Kayak.  I worked hard this summer needed something to show for it besides really tired knees.
     What gets me most is people  here ask me where I could take a kayak. Part of the reason I wanted a self propelled water craft is the thousands of places I could explore  within a half hour of my house.   Across the river is Alton Illinois, a favorite place of mine and home of the Piasa bird.  It's also billed itself as the most haunted small city in America.   An aside the place   I'm parked at is part of what was once called Small Pox Island.

  
    It's where they took the soldiers dying from small pox during the civil war.   Alton had a hospital and prison where they kept the confederate troops.  When small pox broke out they sent the infected to an island out in the river as a quarantine.   They also of course buried the dead on the island, maybe into the thousands.   Flash forward about 80 years and the island has been forgotten and they build a lock and dam on the site.  It was now part of the
Missouri side they think.   Like a lot of the history here they never bothered to really keep tabs on the old before they built on top of it.    Forward  again to the 90's and they build a new lock and dam.   When they tore the old one out someone got interested in historical preservation of small pox island.   They consulted an expert and he said best guess was that they had built exactly on top of the gravesight . So now we have a chunk of old lock and dam to commemorate the graves of civil war soldiers. 




   This is is just typical fall foliage. This is kind of like a secret spot, its about a mile up the river on my side. Its a lake inside an island.   It's a core of engineers project from the Eighties. A beauty place called dressers Island.  It's claim to fame is in the winter the eagles hang out and fish the river from it.
   This little hunk of land is actually very  important as it is a rest stop on the migratory route of most birds in the country. 



  it's cool how small you really are , I think the view from a kayak is unique.   A little bitty boat out there with the big fellows. It makes me feel all primeval like channeling my ancestors , my inner hunter gatherer.   yet instead of primeval I think it's more pre-evil like how I would of been without the modern world society. This spot would of seen little guys like me paddling in it since the aliens? created and left us here.

These are some riverfront pics, as you can see the lows are pretty low and the highs are well  you know.

This pic last one as I ride into the sunset.

Rantoweenie

The Place to be for dec. 2012

                 Hi all I really missed you , and missed writing.   If your wondering I wasted most of the summer working, oh well something different. I haven't worked like this , everyday in the same place it's almost like having a job.In fact a guy at the mall (yes I'm working at a shopping mall)  asked me if this was now my real job, I told him "Well it's not quite that bad" I actually kind of like it working late nights just me and a few maintenance guys and the mall Zombies, and a few ghosts.
     Both of these things I decided to write about , first working has left me some cash to spend. I'm deciding that I could spend up to 500 dollars on surviving this winter, a luxury I haven't had in a long while, or needed. To be honest I'm not a stocking up type person , I even wait till I'm on my last roll of toilet paper before I buy more. i generally eat fresh as I can get vegetables you cant stock up there , so I'm pretty much a JIT guy in a jit world.
       Just in time fits with living in the now and as a huge fan of the Great Provider it is kind of a sin or lack of faith in the GP to store or hoard provisions. After all this force  has always been there for me, in ways that most people just can't appreciate. It's very true that I was born bare assed and will probably die that way , its only the in-between that I even worry about, and then only when I have to, knowing I've made it this far I can figure I'll make it this time or next time , somehow someway I hate to put it this way but the Universe seems to provide. Though extremely just in time in it's own way.
        It's really a beautiful thing to think about, How does Universe take time to worry about little old me, not only me every little and big creature in it.    on this planet alone single cell life forms have provided what they need to live their own life cycle, which when spent will provide another creature what it needs to have a life cycle got to figure if an amoeba can do it so can I.
          So if it wasn't for 2012 I'd find a better way to spend the extra do rae me. I might be buying food I'll never eat, so I want something I can give away like next summer , assuming it's the same ol same ol world gone madder as it is now.
       I'm seriously going to spend a hundred of it on TP maybe a third of what I spend, that aside I'm pretty open as to the best calorie for the buck. Rice is easy, stores well and here is pretty cheap, at least now, flour though non essential would be hoardable as well.   While they wouldn't last till summer potatoes store well and would be good eating anyway along with maybe beets and onions.
          Since I'm more a fresh as it gets guy I don't do much eating out of cans, however if I'm hungry I'll eat about anything. That's where the canned meals come in, the heat it and eat it dinners. How much of that should I spend on?   Most of it is filled with stuff I have been telling people not to eat because it is no good for you.
           I mean in calorie content your probably better off with tree bark soup, which would taste a lot better with some spices. Probably Chili powder as it can alter the taste of a lot of found foods. I don't like salt much but if as Cliff High said we are out there eating worms next year , they might go down better with some seasoning.  An aside the worms are still probably better for you than the canned raviolies.
       I think cinnamon hugely usable will also be a stocker. It's tasty and heart healthy, just because the world as we know it could end no reason to stop eating right. Then there's my big weakness   Sugar Sugar , if I'm going to Survive I'll want some sugar.  Sugar in my coffee sugar in my tea.
      Coffee is already too overpriced for me to stock up enough to survive the end of the world (as we know it) and will be one of the many things I will miss from this madder world.   It's not that good for you anyway, it will probably do me good to lay off it.
          Tea is still cheap and would help me through the withdrawals from my coffee monkey. Which leads to the bigger monkey on my back cigarettes  Unless I learn to grow my own, smoking will become a thing of the past, right if the world ends I'll give up smoking.
          As always I think the best investment for the future and as much as a third of the cash will go to seeds. Like all my cash it will turn to seed. Only I'll be better off for it, This time.   It's a total different attitude stocking up years of canned goods verses life cycles of seeds. In a way I can rationalize that I'm doing my part in carrying on future life cycles , instead of just protecting my own.
          If anyone reads this and wants to help I could surely use some good ideas on seeds to save. theres a lot to it and it might be the big thing,. As a doomer who keeps an open mind , as in the Murphie's law addendum "Anything can happen and it will right now" the only way to actually survive anything is to learn to grow.
        How do you beat the rising food prices? grow your own. Want to keep GMO's out of your life? Grow your own. Want healthy kid's ?  it goes on and on ending with the only way to beat the PTB is to be happy without them. food supply is independance, all hail the free farmer.
      As always the answers  are simple, but that dont make them easy.  we will have to learn to improvise and innovate , while learning the old ways , how it was done before machines and corporations do it for us. We also have to deal with not only the way things are, we don't really know just how Madder the world is going to get.
       Not that it isn't mad enough, what's crazy now will be normal in a few weeks. Like the weather , sunny and hot in the west and on the north pole , rainy and almost springish in Australia and Missouri.  Weird weather is the new  normal, and normal is totally madder.
      To steal a thought , or share as I was trying to explain the same theory that of course I was crazy, because there's no way I can rationalize or be sane in the world as it is. the thing that's crazy is to think this is just the way it is.   A fine line between believing and accepting, Both of them are used as tools to control and limit the minds of We the Sheeple.
        Both of them are also inhibitors to any search for the truth.  I am used to it but I have heard so many times that something can't be true because They can't believe it. If that is your best argument , you really need to rethink your position on the issue. of course they are also saying they cant accept a fact or a line of thought mentally.   Usually because it doesn't fit the belief structure we impose upon ourselves.
         So another good reason to trust no one not even yourself.   One last point against believing , think of all the crazy beliefs that supposedly guides the puppet leaders of about any government. Or the crazy with the sign, or the original sheeple in the churches of the world.
        Not to pick on them , it's too easy , and like they would read my rant, or care , which is good because I wanted to spiel on a touchy subject for most religions , and truly most people , as some one said "Rich man poor man begger king, we each must dance alone with the reaper."
 
      This is something I alluded to earlier a life cycle. Believe it or not everything dies, it's part of the cycle, a natural thing, though rarely if ever pleasant death is  a necessary part  of life.    What the 64 dollar question is what happens next.
         First off I must add that what is really important is the way you spend your blink of an eye life cycle. I believe all I want that I'm a recycled spirit, been used before hence will be used again, still it doesn't make it so.It's pretty easy to accept that the whole soul thing is part of my mind rationalizing my immortality by denial.  
      I believe that a belief should make you happy, I mean careful what you wish for, you might get it. So I prefer to believe that I do have a piece of immortality or eternalness to my being. It helps, though I already regret my death and hope I got it right, I know I've done it before , and will do it again, hopefully evolving into a more advanced creature , after having learned my life lesson from this cycle of life I'm currently in.
         I also believe that to each his own fate. So in that way your free to believe what you want , hopefully taking into account that you might get it.  The point or the goal is to get it done and move on to whatever comes next.
    Surprisingly we can do it wrong, or it just takes longer to get it done, this is where the ghost comes in. Death done the slow way. You could call it a spirit in the middle   The good thing about believing in ghosts is that it also confirms that there is a spirit that goes on.
   In that way I know that my belief is at least partially right, there is more at least. I have met a ghost so I know that there's something beyond, I still get the thrill of finding out if it's beyond or back but I'm sure I'll find out. I'm also sure to pay a high price for that information, so there is no real; hurry to Find out.

           I always tell people I have to believe in ghosts I met one.  At least one, but since this one I could see no other explanation logical or otherwise except that I encountered a real ghost. Or to be specific the manifestation of a guy who had died, and wouldn't let it go.
      I decided to tell the story the way I remember it , it's all true , even if all the truth isn't there. I can't prove it to you , there's no video  just my word. Looking forward in time I can give some good tips later for dealing with dead people.



     Once upon a time in the land of Misery in the country of US , in pretty much the different world of the 80's I used to have almost a real job , and worked for a guy who owned a construction company.  The theme of my working for him was that he would teach me carpet laying if I learned to do everything else.
     In this case he called me and told me to go to an address and paint the inside of the house. Pretty general assignment and when I asked for specifics he was kind of quiet a sure sign there was some surprise waiting for me at the Job. Even more intriguing he even threw in a little threat or pressure involving this job and my job.
        It takes awhile to really train a boss , but even then I knew a key was choosing the battles. And using the right psychology.  This boss once told me if he thought I was too happy on a job I must be getting over and wouldn't send me back there. So if I wanted to get off this job I'd just tell him how much fun I was having on it. An aside this will freak out almost any boss telling them how much fun your having.
       Another thing for you kids is work less and get paid more. Even now I have to work so before I got out of this job I thought it would be simpler to see what it was. We did a lot of commercial work but this was a house in a decent area not that far from my house , and the biggest bonus of all it was empty , no home owners why wouldn't I want to do this job?
     I got the key out of the mailbox expecting the worse and went inside. Once again shock nothing really out of the ordinary, just a house that needed paint. Not a huge mess just some spaghetti on a wall or two. I figured mystery solved my boss was just being a jerk, and I went back outside to grab my gear and get to work.
     While I could see nothing from the start things weren't quite right. Explainable but the front door would not stay open so I could carry in my tarps and tools. I naturally assumed that it had been set in the frame at an angle that it would close itself, I used to see that in older houses all the time. I grabbed a stick and wedged the door open 
        Weird is the wedge kept working itself out and everytime I went through the doorway I had to reset it . I figured there must be some kind of suction going on because the house was closed up, and plus it smelled a little like old man. So I decide to open the place up a bit and opened a window in the living room and went to open the next when the first window slid closed. I went through the house opening windows to see if I could get one to stay open.
   I agree still not ghost proof and I was thinking just weird windows too loose in the frames.  But the next thing was as I went into the bedrooms to open the windows the lights wouldn't stay on in the rooms. As I got maybe three feet away from the switch it would turn itself back off, of course just need new switches, odd that they all did it though.
        I spent most of the day this way trying to set up the painting , spending most of my time reopening doors and windows that wouldn't stay open and lights that wouldn't stay on. The next day I was prepared and bought the sticks needed to prop open the doors I wanted open. I also taped the light switches to the wall to keep them on in the rooms I was working .
    Only noticed one new thing that day , the slippery countertops. There was no funiture in the house ,just some junk. For a place to set tools I used a countertop in the kitchen, only problem whatever I put on it would fall off  it within minutes. I semi-fixed this , thinking vibration of some kind , we were near the airport? was shaking the countertop, so I put  thick layers of newspaper on the counter then placed my tools in the very middle and had little more problems.
    Another explainable thing was the noises the house made, really a natural thing as houses settle they loosten joints which then begin to creek , like a nail being pulled out of wood. Over and over . Perfectly natural even if sometimes the house can sound kinda moany, all kinds of things can make a moan I decided best way to fix it was ignore it and get some work done.
   That evening I had a quick conversation with the boss , Him wondering if I was getting the job done and me wondering who owned the fun house, and who was going to get the thrill of living in it.  There was of course no way I was going to come out and ask if he sent me to a haunted house, even though I was starting to suspect that he knew something , normally he was the kind of boss that would at least show up on a job. to at least  see if I did.
    I asked him "who owns the house? is it for sale?" and he told me that the house had been vacant for a while and the church across the street had bought it to house a priest or two. seems the church had got a good deal on it because nobody else had wanted to buy it.  Go figure I said , and mentioned he might want to come out and work on the electrical switches as they had wore out.
     Two plus two was definitely on my mind.   Nobody would buy the house either because of it's crazy builder and his sliding counter tops, or it was because something happened in the house. Usually a great way to get a discount on a house is to find one with a dead person involved. As I heard in a movie the 3 D's death divorce and destitution.
    Top of the list is death, any house is worth less , the first time it is sold after someone dies in it. Not that it had to be, the owner could of died anywhere, lots of good reasons for a house not to sell I could think of about twenty in this house , in the two days I had been there.
  A quick description of the house to clarify, first off it was not some spooky old mansion, it was a slab house( a house built no basement one story, Thousands of these were built mostly in the late 60's earl into the 70's.  I hear they still build them in Florida but what do you expect?
     I would say this one had the seventies look , so then it was not that old of a house, in fact it was just a house in a small subdivision, with twenty more just like it. I've found through the years some of the craziest construction I've ever found was done on slab houses. This one had a difference in that it had been added onto, with a room on a lower level in the back of the house.      Point is no dorm windows that looked like eyes , just another house, another job and another day.
      Day three on the job is the reason I even remember this story at all. Most of our lives ,specially as a doomer we spend our fear on what is coming, when TSHTF , how long have we waited for that? Rarely in life does it really hit the fan, hopefully.  This day it actually did.
       This was the day I had to paint the room with the spaghetti wall, that could of been cherry pie, whatever it was it had long been dried and stuck to the wall. I guess you could call this the dining room as it had an open kitchen dining room with the living room in one open area.
   Before I could paint I had to remove the cherry pie, normally I'd scrape it, wash it with a cleaner then maybe prime it before painting. That day I'm thinking get some paint on that wall. As I'm scraping I'm wondering is it cherry pie? or Spaghetti? definitely a red sauce, I knew I wasn't curious enough to taste it.
     As I  said the first two days the house had acted funny , now it was getting serious. It was giving me the whole show . Like my own private earthquake the house was shaking . every creaky board in it was sounding off. One of the paintsticks I was using to keep the windows open snapped in half and the window shut with a slam.
    Logical mind , I could not rationalize the way this house was acting, still I pressed on . and decided screw prepping the wall I would paint it and hope for the best. I told myself this was the worst part of the job just get it over and it will be all downhill from there.
     Logically I was becoming convinced that this house was haunted and of course I got that feeling I was not alone. Maybe this is why I'm more aware of spirit's when I get that feeling now I pay attention. I think a good description would be somebody breathing onto the back of your neck, even though sometimes its more subtle like the hairs on your arms raising.
       Another sign could be even a breeze in a room , usually a slightly different temperature. Mostly it's a feeling and how we react to it.   I was getting mad, all I wanted to do was get done and get out. I also was already scared . I set up my paint bucket , with paint roller and paint brush getting more nervous by the second, not to mention the house was getting louder all the time.
    Normally I use my paint brush to cut a wall in , trim it to the ceiling and floor then roll the paint on with a roller , As they say any idiot can paint. Sadly I couldn't get the guts to get that close to  the cherry pie wall . I even had the brush wet in my hand and couldn't get my feet to take me close enough to touch the wall with it.
     Not to blame just the feet, the rest of me was in no hurry either.As often is it became a battle of wills. all the different parts of me the  self trying to get my feet to move.  Even calling them and myself all the magic words didn't help. lucky me with the inventor mind said hey lets roll it first, with a long roller pole, kind of like a compromise I could use the brush after I built my courage up a bit.
      Since it meant moving away from the wall my feet were back in agreement with the rest of the Me, and I switched to a four foot pole and tried again,.  only problem was the brush in my hand , I had to set it down. Somewhere out of the way, keeping in mind the way things slid on things , I didn't want paint everywhere so I set in on a paint lid, in the middle of the kitchen counter , where I had found so far to be the safest spot as in nothing had fallen from the middle of the counter yet.
      Vibrations or slanted builder I had gotten used to watching items I placed anywhere for at least a few seconds to see if they would stay there, most of the time they wouldn't even the window sills, so after watching the the brush long enough to ascertain it wasn't going to slide off  I went to work on getting paint on the wall, or more to the point getting within four foot of it long enough to roll on the paint.
       By then as now I was totally sure that this was not right, I was also pretty sure of a lot of things, one that wasn't cherry pie, and two I wasn't alone. ' You can't see them but they are there" a favorite line from the Gods must be crazy.  I did not see it but I heard it felt it , I decided if it "Looks like a duck. swims like a duck" . it didnt take Sherlock Holmes to figure someone had died , probably by loss of brain matter in that spot.
  And they weren't happy about it. Neither was I but I'm as stubborn as that stain on the wall,or can be and turning my back on the brush I loaded the roller with as much paint as it could hold , and telling myself , bottom line, it was just a ghost whats it going to do?   With that and with arms mostly  extended and eyes mostly closed I got the roller onto the wall,    all I had to do now was move it up and down the wall ,
        I figured that once I  got moving instincts would take over and I would get it reasonably painted in one coat , with no big drips like the ones that were running down the wall from the roller sitting in the same place on the wall. I remembered my mantra "Any idiot can paint, I'm an idiot whats the problem just do it.
     My inner painter took over I had too at least get those drips and with the rest of my will I moved my arms and started the action of painting, I was amazed my arms moved and said to myself in a favorite of the famous last words category "Hey this ain't so bad". That's when it hit me , or almost hit me . the paint brush on the counter behind me flew past my shoulder and hit the wall missing me by inches.
     There's no logical or scientific explanation for this one maybe fifteen feet across a room? things dont fall that way, ,  to me even over many years of thinking on it that was a deciding factor, the next thing I heard was a crash and then a woosh of air and I was sitting in my truck with the hand on the ignition. The crash being me tossing the roller as I ran, and I was totally prepared to keep on running   I was already in gear and backing out of the driveway before I even got That Wait a minute what just happened notion.
      First thing I asked myself was did that just happen? and the answer was plainly yes, a ghost, probably had threw a paint brush at me.   Rightly so I said to myself I don't get paid enough for that kind of abuse , I'm leaving, They can have my paint tarps and tools, I'm never going back in there again.
  My whole self was pretty much in agreement there I wasn't going back in that house ever again, but first I needed to calm down so I sat in the driveway smoking and thinking  a cig then two , and then maybe something else to help me calm down , so you know I could make it to a local bar and really get a grip.
       As the minutes mounted I started listing mentally the things I would have to replace and even the brush and roller I had left behind, still I was confident that it was just stuff not worth  going back in the house for , the ghost could have it I said, or one of my I's did another one said "Okay call the boss and tell him your not going to do the job and why.
    Drat me I thought it wasn't bad enough I had to tell a guy who would ride me about it for maybe the rest of my life that I was afraid of a ghost, more importantly wouldn't do the job , meaning affecting his and my DO RAE ME. I was at least sure he wouldn't fire me over it, he would have too much fun picking on me for years.
    I already knew what I had to do, drat me again the answer was simple , just not easy.  Like most decisions, I knew I really had no choice.  I convinced myself eventually that I now Had to finish this job, or at least get my tools, or in the very least prove to myself that  wasn't I a total coward by  re-entering the house.
     Couraged up I opened the door to go in, tried the door it was locked, but I was way ahead of him, I had long been making sure the key stayed outside the house. So I unlocked the door and went in. With one foot holding the door open I faced the room and began a little speech.
      I said " look yes yuo are scaring the heck out of me , but trust me my boss does too.  I'm not sure if you get this but you have died, and someone else , has bought the house, I can understand your unhappy but I'm just the painter , I just want to paint the place , and then I'm out of here.'  I went on   "regardless of what you do I am going to paint this house,,   I would suggest that you just take it easy for now, you can save it for the people who move in when I'm gone."   I think I mentioned I was sorry that he was dead but it is what it is.
         Night and day, the house seemed to just settle down, I took my foot off the door and it stayed open, just like that I grabbed my roller and finished the cherry pie , wall before moving on and eventually finishing the job with no more conflict.
     The spirit was still there he just let me paint.  goes back to my old saying   "It won't bother me, if you don't bother me" .   By the time my boss actually showed up to the job I was finishing off the last room.   By now more worried about the ceiling I was working on than either the ghost or my boss.   I blame this one on the crazy builder but the ceiling was so rough it was determined that I would spray it with popcorn, the little dingle ball looking stuff that was popular for covering crappy tape jobs.
     As I sprayed the ceiling it got wet and heavy and began sagging towards the floor and me. I had to get the boss in on this one , and after convincing him it that no I wasn't kidding the ceiling was almost a foot lower than when I started. As we were in the room the ghost I guess got antsy with a new face and crashed something in another part of the house.
    Terry My boss then said " Whoa what was that?"  "I  replied just ignore it, trust me. "     He did, raising more suspicion that he had known the  joint was haunted ,  it also gaged my new level of fear, forget the ghost what about the ceiling?
         Fear is a funny thing ,   I've laughed about my moment out in the the truck a hundred times. I think though it helps to examine any fear , as I've said find the roots of the fear is it natural or not.    How much effect or control does that fear have on your self.?
      I'm tempted to call it rational and irrational fears , but really rational or not is the reaction we give  to the fear not the fear itself.   the fear is basically natural or not,,  Natural fear is a first reaction to a perceived  current    danger. A real fear, say something that potentially could kill or harm you and yours.  unnatural  is fear of something that hasn't happened before, fear of the possble, you could call it. It could happen so it's to be feared.
            As usual to keep a point it goes back to the main driver of life, fight or flight, In this case I did both .. Repeated exposure to the fear stimuli wore down enough that I can function rationally  enough in the presence of extra natural occurances that ghosts generally don't bother me in general. I'm not afraid of ghost's.
      Ghost's in generic terms , in the person or familiar term it's still a case by case thing, depends on the ghost.They can be kind of spooky , by design, but it can help to empathize with it. Think about it , your a ghost haunting wherever it is you died , how happy are you going to be? Think like in the movie High spirit's Where the chick ghost got to relive her being murdered every night.  even this guy was still trapped in the prison he had made of his life, a victim of hisself.  So stuck in his rut that even with death he couldn't stop his routine.        That's sad stuck in a world he spagettied his head on the wall to get out of.
               As always when I tell the story recommend highly reading a book called   "The unquiet dead"  in case your thinking as I was I could do this , a ghostbuster.      I have more or less helped clean a few houses, it's really pretty easy , of ghost's and bad  house karma , the book provides a few helpfull techniques on ridding houses, and a spookier part yourself  of the unquiet dead, that "You can't see them but they are there".
  Happy Halloween.  Peace B.